Repeat after me. Deal with your shit from your childhood and ANY trauma you’ve gone through before getting into a committed long term relationship and have kids. Do it and thank me later.
Why? Because trauma you don’t deal with or just let slide or don’t notice until you’re well into adulthood will come back to bite you in your ass. We’re you controlled as a child? BOOM—you’ll either be attracted to someone who controls you and end up in an abusive relationship or YOU yourself will want ALLLLL of the control all of the time. Add kids into the equation and it’s a slippery slope of control and pulling your trauma into parenting them.
Were you neglected physically, emotionally, mentally as a child or as an adult? BAM— you’ll seek attention in any form you can find it in. Ask me how I know. You’ll feel like you need someone CONSTANTLY. You’ll feel like you cannot freaking breathe without their presence and in turn, if they’re shitty, they’ll take advantage of it. All because you were neglected at some point in your life and it stuck with you.
Were you physically, emotionally, verbally abused? You guessed it, you are more prone to seek someone who really talks a good talk at first then segways into talking down to you, abusing you physically, or manipulating you.
It is so crazy how it all is full circle like that. You grow up thinking you won’t deal with that when you’re not living at home anymore and sometimes it just happens. You feel drawn to it unknowingly. You feel pulled so hard toward someone so similar to the person who hurt you.
Deal with your stuff. Before everything. And if you find yourself like me in the middle of 4 kids and a marriage, find what you need to do to deal with your traumas so your family doesn’t carry it through another generation.
