Carry on, carry on healing

After a couple of weeks of therapy and by suggestion of a therapist, I have started to journal in a notebook. She told me to write about things that made me happy that day, things that made me sad, things that came up in my mind during the day and how I processed it, old trauma I hadn’t dealt with, etc.

It has been so far really freeing. It has helped me lay down feelings and memories I haven’t been able to process through my whole life. The trauma it has brought up so far has been a doozy. You’d be surprised what you dig up that your mind has hidden to keep you safe. It’s weird to look at things that happened while I was young from a different perspective. It just makes me sad sometimes to pull them back out to deal with them but it does help. It has also helped to show me who is actually FOR me in my life and who was only around for the experience or lesson at the time. I’ve learned to distance from people who stepped over boundaries I put in place and enjoy those who enjoy me.

Not every day is daisies and rainbows but I have been happier. Less shitty self talk. I guess that‘s what happens when you finally start to heal.